Childhood trauma and its consequences
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 Post subject: Parenting
PostPosted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 1:50 pm 
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Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2005 2:06 am
Posts: 489
Location: Sweden
Phil, you're right when you say that knowledge is not enough. It reminds me of one of my favorite movies, Surviving Desires by Hal Hartley where a literature professor writes at the end of the movie on the blackboard the words: Knowledge is not enough. And all his students just stare.

I used to know a woman who got Alice Miller's The Drama from her mother when she was 16 years old. Her mother was a psychologist and very disturbed. Psychology as a tool for childrearing is only about manipulative acts. If you're a parent and you have to learn how to be a good parent from a book, or an expert or from your own parents, then you're not ready to be a parent. Parenting isn't hard. It's only hard when the parent is emotionally also a child in many aspects. I used to say that I'm older than my parents.

Empathic people don't let their feelings interfere with the new trends in childrearing or hospital practice. If knowledge only stays knowledge, than it won't change much. But if you read stories about other people, it can bring an emotional connection. It can bring you more feelings.

Phil wrote:
It's hard to argue with anyone about birth procedures in hospitals.

It is and this is worth of a topic on its own. Strangely enough the two countries that have the highest percentage of hospital births are Belgium and the US, being it at 99.5 percent. The country with the highest percentage of births at home, is Holland, which lies now at 40 percent. That's considered pretty low again so they have started to campaign to have more mothers give birth in their own comforting home. Now when it comes to logic, all the arguments for having birth at home are far stronger than having it in the hospital. But (irrational) fear is a strong factor in people's decisions.


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